10.29.2012

Grown-Up Friends

Happy Monday, loves!

Today, I'll be talking about something a little...taboo, if you will. Making friends.

Sometimes life gets busy, especially life with the military. You're constantly moving to a new city, setting up shop, and getting acquainted just to pick up and do it all over again next year. Not to mention the fact that we all have lives, right? We work and we have a home and families that need tending to, so it's difficult to carve out time to build relationships with others.

It's uncomfortable to admit because it seems so silly and unimportant, but it's extremely challenging to make friends as adults.

As kids, it was easy. Children are open-minded and curious. Making friends just came naturally to us then because we were always around the same people and we weren't so afraid to look stupid. Now, there are so many insecurities holding us back that I think we hide behind our busyness to avoid having to step out of our comfort zones, for fear of looking foolish.

I've had my share of life's busy periods and I've hid behind them out of fear. That fear has cost me many opportunities to form relationships with other women, and has, in turn, left me lonely and wanting.

While my husband is a fantastic friend and incredibly patient listener, he can never take the place of a great girlfriend. We all need the kind of friend we can call just to enjoy a chick flick and a glass of wine with. We need the kind of friends who will notice when we're hurting or slacking or just plain lost and who will give us that encouragement (or maybe a swift kick in the rear!) to push us forward. You deserve it. I deserve it. We all owe it to ourselves to cherish a relationship that will last a lifetime.

So the next time someone new asks if you'd like to get coffee or a fellow blogger reaches out to you to start a conversation...don't be afraid to say "yes." Take that as an opportunity to start a great friendship. :)

6 comments:

Jamie said...

I totally agree--making friends as an adult sucks! I have my little circle of girls and that's about it! And they all have husbands and children so that makes it even harder for me. Sometimes I feel like an outcast, even among friends!

I wish we lived closer!! I'd totally hang out anytime! But since I'm states away, please know I'm almost always around to Skype, talk on the phone, or text if you need a friend :)

Mallory Castleberry said...

This post is so true. It is harder to make and keep close friends as adults. It gets really hard when people start getting on different pages of life.

Heather said...

This is something that's been on my mind so much lately. We've been living in this area for three months and I have yet to meet any friends other than a couple people I work with. I'm dying to have some girls to hang out with!

Mary said...

Wow, this post totally hits home with me! I was just discussing this with a long distance friend the other day!

I'm in the same boat as Jamie, with a small group of friends, but most are married with children and have maybe one or two free days for a "girls night" every 4 to 6 months! It can definitely make you feel like the odd man out.

I too have found myself hiding out of fear, and as the years continue to roll by, I notice how much that has affected me. And it's really NOT the kind of person I am!!!

I recently stumbled upon your blog via chambanachiks after beginning to read some local blogs. I was thinking of starting one and then some life stuff got in the way, so I'm back at square one. I can see your hesistation to make friends, it's almost like you've been programmed not to be able to with all of the moves and changes in your life. Hopefully things will slow down for you now and you can begin to enjoy some fun nights out and activities. Champaign is a fun and eclectic place and theres a huge variety of things to do!!!

Mrs. K said...

I am so terrible at this. I'm actually sort of shy in real life so I don't really make friends easily as people interpret it the wrong way. I was told several times in college that people had always thought I was "stuck up". Hopefully I'm fixing that. It is hard moving every year because sometimes I feel like- what's the point? I need to say yes more often, for sure!

MrsMcDancer said...

This topic is so taboo, but it is something that plays a part in so many peoples lives! I read a book called MWF seeks BFF and it chronicles a woman's year long journey to make a real effort to make friends. It was a fun read and really made me think about the way I approach friendships.

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